Confidence and Compliments

Continuing the discussion on Confidence.

Compliments, humility, and confidence.

The triad of doom. Or the three-way that just ain’t happening in my head.

I grew up with the distinct impression that humility was valued over arrogance or boasting.

 

This spawned a bizarre relationship with compliments.

I love to compliment others, but get scared to death when anyone compliments me.

 

 

Basically, notice anything you appreciate about me and I turn into a deer in the headlights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know what I'm supposed to say, 'thank you,' and graciously nod acknowledgement of kind remark.

 

However, my instinct is to deny, deny, deny--lest I come off arrogant or boastful.

If I had it my way, I wouldn't only deny, I'd spend a good half hour demonstrating my numerous flaws in order to disprove said compliment--"There! Humble, baby!"

 

Except this isn't humility either, and it sure heck isn't good for confidence levels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have gained the ability to stare lamely for less than ten seconds before the nod and thanks. It's the best I can do.

 

To be perfectly honest, I often say a silent prayer that no one will notice me or say anything to me, so I don't have to face this terrifying situation of how best to handle a compliment.

 

 

 

I'm okay with me, as long as no one points anything out.

 

Editing FOR-Eh-VER

Sometimes the editing process never ends.



At least, it feels that way.

When you're hiring an editor, you want to make sure you fit with expectations and timelines. Basically, let them know what you're looking for, what you want done, what they charge, how long it takes, how many people are already in line, and when you'll be hearing back.



Remember editing is not super duper fast.  Not if it's being done in depth and well.

So what I'm saying is... I'm a writer, which means I edit, or work on edit notes I get from Critique Partners, Beta Readers, Editors, Publishing associates, and anything I get-- All. The. Time.

I edit.
I am NOT an Editor.
But, I freaking edit.

Conquering Fear of Contests

Contests scare me.

I'm determined to improve my skill and scope. So I challenged myself by entering a contest.
I chose to enter contests without an entry fee, because this is my first experience in any type of writing contest. I approached it as a learning opportunity and not a monetary investment.
I still needed to figure out what to enter and if I had the right material ready before any deadlines.

 

Step 1.

Find free contests. (Oprah isn't giving things away anymore? Bummer).

Thanks to Twitter, Facebook, and friends I heard of two similar contests within the entry window.
PitchSlam and Nest pitch. Both of those contests are based on a 35 word pitch, or tight summary of the novel, and the first 250-300 words of your novel.

 

Step 2.

REFINE REFINE REFINE

I formed a group to tackle this one and invited anyone also involved in the contest I was going to enter to join in order to refine our entries as a group. We posted our original Pitch and 250. The group commented on things that worked (positives) and things that didn't (constructive). Then we revised based on feedback. We posted revisions and commented again. There were many impressive entries in our group. I filled expected over half our group to be chosen as finalists for PitchSlam, the contest with the first announced results. Two out of our 18 active members were picked. No I was not one of them.

Step 3.

Keep Trying.

The first contest provided me with feedback that I needed to improve my work in ways I had not known.
I applied the information I was given to my novel, pitch, and first words.
(Nestpitch contest's submission window actually closed before I received feedback, but I applied changes to my own work anyway--hoping the selection committees/teams would see potential in my story with what they had on hand)

I was selected in the Nestpitch contest!
The last three weeks have been working with my contest team to refine my entry for the final round. That round begins in two days from the time I'm writing this post.
.
I'd love to say I obtained an agent from entering my first ever contest, but that is not what this post is about (and I have no idea what the final results will be yet). It is about conquering my fear of entering contests, which is not related to results.

In a short window of time I have gained not only the stamina to lose, and the determination to continue with my personal goal, but also the confidence to be selected.

These lessons are essential for me in my continued growth as a writer. Pushing myself to the next level.

My Personal Motto:

Embrace your Quirks.

Pursue your Talents.

I can't accomplish those things without a little fear conquering.

On to the next challenge.

Writing reality

I write every day.

Writing feels like this.



I LOVE it! I can't get enough.
So I'm a writer! It's awesome, right?

But....



It's more like this when I actually look at it... A bit sour and terrifying.

Which is why I like to think of myself as a reviser too.

Revision is like...



Whoa, that was awesome!
Was that magic?
No. It was editing. And everything is better for it.

Always writing. Forever revising.

High Five!

Or... Just...

Back to work.


Also--this is my first successful use of Gif's. I've tried to paste them here before and only got the code stuff on here. So woo! It worked. Way more fun than just words.