Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Adventures in renting.

Our family decided to sell our home last spring. We lived in area that had been a little depressed in the real-estate market so we anticipated a loooooong listing phase. 30 days on the market and our home was under contract--apparently it was the perfect time to list. Everything was selling. Our newly finished remodel was perfectly timed, except we had not developed our plan for 'what next'.



Thus began life as renters.


And then there was nothing to rent except a basement--a sunken basement without much natural light making it through the window wells. I was used to sitting in front of a bright with warm colors and happy décor.
I was a little hesitant about a basement because I battle depression and our winters are already long in the region we live. And the basement is olive green and maroon.... I'm not making that up.


I bought a lot of lamps.




Still--my living space is so dark my computer screen lights up the room....











I should blog each event separately, but needed a little build up to the event that spurred me to write our adventures in renting--a fire.


Okay, let me backup.
First our hot water went out.
For a week we could not contact the landlord and inform them that we had a water crisis.
Of course my husband was away at a work conference, and my brother was visiting with his family consisting of three young kids (2 months to 6 years), and everyone came down with the flu...





Luckily I own a lot of very large pans to boil water in. I boiled water to wash dishes, bathe children (and myself, which is yuck because I hate washing my hair in a bathtub), and clean-up puke misses because my kids are young and can't aim worth betting on.

I figured I was in the worst of it. And allowed myself a little pride in how well I handled it all.



 





 Then (finally, after a week of boiling water) a plumber arrived. And we received the news that the water heater had in fact CAUGHT FIRE!
One of the bedrooms in the basement we rent is void of windows (it's listed as a bedroom because it has a closet, I think). I made a stink about it. I refused to put any of my children in that room even after the description squabble did not result in any reduction in rent cost.
The windowless room is a box sanctuary.
The landlords aren't beasts, there are just no rentals in our area, so cost isn't negotiable. They're actually really nice people, who happened to be vacationing on a European cruise while all of this was going on, so had no idea about the hot water crisis until yesterday.


And we have been reassured that the fire was contained without us ever knowing about it happening. But, I still feel a sting of 'what if the fire had caught the drywall'. I'm so glad my kids were all sleeping in rooms that have windows--where a fireman could get to them if they needed to. The water heater blocks the only door in the basement. Our only exit other than windows--and our kids are young, even though we plan and practice fire escape routes and fire safety--kids panic. And if mine have inherited anything from me--it's anxiety and panic.

My husband arrived home from his conference with no hot water--he had to join the boil water tub washing brigade, but his family was alive and getting well (remember we've had the pukes).

This week has been crazy--a little scary after the fact, and filled me with the gratitude for small things I never want to live without (I'm not talking about hot water).
I don't mind living in the dark cave basement, it has decent space and the light really tries to get to us on sunny days. But, I do want to join the sunshine people again someday.

 I mean--even cave homes can have daylight!


Note: If/when we build a home, we will not include a basement.

Monday, August 31, 2015

What It Feels Like to Query

Stage the First:


I've been working on this for a year, it's AWESOME!
Every agent will be knocking down my door to rep this.

This is a delusional stage, by the way.

Stage the Second:


I totally nailed QueryShark suggestions to make demonstrate how un-live-without-able this novel is.

Hint: I have never nailed a query, unless the term is being used ironically.

Stage the Third:


Research all agents--like ALL. Achieve stalker level research skills.

How I travel in large cities...

Stage the Fourth:


Develop some serious Agent-Crushes.

Try to follow their specific guidelines from their individual websites and agent pages.
*still screw something up*

Stage the Last:


After you hit send

 
And you stay in this place for the rest of the day.


These are the reasons I want to puke, live I a hole, and in most ways become nothing more than a freckle after I send more than three queries. Also, I'm really good at being a doofus--not the best way to impress.

Luckily I have an awesome group of writing friends I can turn to and confess my insecurities.
I spent the weekend making a massive list of agents to query.
I revised my query and gave myself a little pep talk.
"These agents are looking for what I have. They might like my style."
I hit send.
Now I feel paralyzed with doubt.
Why does this happen?
I feel like every line of my query makes me sound like a dorkwad.
Like I should purchase buck-teeth and take a googley-eyed selfie to post as my profile picture from now on.
 
 
 
 
I highly recommend finding a group of writing friends who understand what you're going through as a writer. People that appreciate the work you put in and the product that comes out. I have that, and it's awesome.
 
It makes this whole process worth it.
I just hit send again.



Friday, January 9, 2015

Writing reality

I write every day.

Writing feels like this.

animated gifs photo:  cupcakectime.gif

I LOVE it! I can't get enough.
So I'm a writer! It's awesome, right?

But....

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It's more like this when I actually look at it... A bit sour and terrifying.

Which is why I like to think of myself as a reviser too.

Revision is like...



Whoa, that was awesome!
Was that magic?
No. It was editing. And everything is better for it.

Always writing. Forever revising.

High Five!
animated gifs photo: high five fail highfive.gif
Or... Just...

Back to work.


Also--this is my first successful use of Gif's. I've tried to paste them here before and only got the code stuff on here. So woo! It worked. Way more fun than just words.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Five Reasos I Love Numbered or Bulleted Blog Posts


 

1.  Convenience.

It makes skimming for relevant information much more convenient. I mean, who has time to read entire paragraphs for the single point of interest? Not me.

2.  Pretty.

My eyes just prefer the look of things ordered.

3.  Plays to my skills.

I don’t want to totally claim and embrace the fact I lean toward lazy, but bulleted items help me grasp one or two main points that I can put energy toward improving without bogging my brain down in the overwhelming information inside each paragraph. Even this paragraph I’m writing at the very moment is getting a little overwhelming for me.

4.  Time saver.

Along the same lines as convenience. I don’t have time to sift through irreleivant information. My kids are hovering at my side, telling me to look at them (balancing shoes on their ears—it’s a little impressive). My phone is dinging that I have some sort of notification, the school just called that one of my kids has an overdue library book, and I have to fill out claim forms, work forms, and time cards. So, yes I’m ever so grateful for the blogger who takes the time to put their posts into a list that allows me to pick and choose where to spend my time while browsing their ideas and suggestions.

5.  Teaches me organized thinking.

I am not the most organized individual. I have piles of papers in every room of the house. Books I’m referencing stacked on all surfaces, and stuff (I don’t even want to figure out what it is) shoved behind, under, and inside every furniture item. Thank goodness that blog post shows me how a non-cluttered idea should be.

…Now to find a bulleted blog post about de-cluttering my home in five easy steps.

 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

The Magic of Relating Experiences



I once read a blog post where a woman described being defecated on by her newborn son in such horrifically fascinating detail that I longed for the opportunity to commiserate her experience with her.
I've since changed my mind on that...

The art of relating an experience is what an author/writer aspires to do.
Doing it well is not only a skill, it's a master-craft.

Did you see Lego Movie?
Masterbuilders? Well there are MasterWriters.
Those are the people that can see the elements of an experience that can be arranged and highlighted in such fashion as to render the listener/reader incapable of turning away or closing the book.

Taking things from one mono-angle and elevating the perspective to widen your ability to appreciate the horror of butt-splosion from an unhappy infant.

We've all read the Facebook posts that say nothing more than *Boo, or some other derivation of bland complaint. Did you fall into the trap of following-up for more detail?
Did you get any more detail?
Often those who lack the vision to expound on their experiences from the start can't satisfy your curiosity (at least that's what I've decided to tell myself after totally falling for this kind of post and being left in the lurch).

How much more satisfying is being transported into a friends experience--getting a glimpse into their ability to manipulate an event based on their reinterpretation for entertainment sake? (I'm not talking exaggeration or falsification--far better. The ability to relate an event and make it so personal you know what someone is talking about even if it's never happened to you).
Last winter I was driving a particularly treacherous canyon road in the middle of a whiteout snowstorm. I was terrified. Literally scared out of my mind.
Guess what? That's not interesting.
And it didn't help me handle the situation with any additional skill or grace.

Drawing upon some story relator masters I had been devoting hours of spare time listening to/reading. I decided to *retell* myself the experience I was having.
Winter Olympics were happening during that time. It gave me a perfect opportunity to reshape the event.
NOTE: I'm still learning this craft of story relating--you will see the flaws, but this is a blog about the bumps in trying to bring myself up to the level of those I'm inspired by. Enjoy my amateurish awareness into new ways of thinking, speaking, sharing... :D

*I just won the gold medal in multi-ton vehicle canyon Luge! It was a white knuckle blind turn race with 27 competitors backed up behind me- poised to take the lead. No one could see worth crap. Making turns as we had all memorized them in the months of practice runs down and up the canyon. Practice paid off! We're alive! But, I got the gold- so HA!*

I failed to bring the reader into the moment the snowsheet cleared to reveal I was in the oncoming lane with a massive semi-truck yards way and closing. The only thing that saved me was the mind-numbingly slow speeds required under that kind of snow-terror-driving.

Practicing to re-frame my experiences, so that even I would want to have them, has a bonus effect.
My life is way more awesome than it used to be.
Almost every mundane event and experience can benefit from a change of angle. I have found I'm much more content day to day.
*If you see me staring insanely at nothing I'm being awesome. Ask me about it in ten minutes and I can relate to you how awesome the moment was.

If you want to experience True MasterWriters I'll direct you to:
Dan Carlin (this man is the best I've ever heard. Even if you have no interest in history, listening to his podcasts will heighten your expectations for retelling of events) Hardcore History
http://www.dancarlin.com/disp.php/hharchive
And anything written by Sara Baxter www.sarajbaxter.com. 
http://hahasforhoohas.com/stories/kindergarten-wisdom


There is magic in all things--If you know how to tell(show if you're writing, of course) it right.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Back to School Back to Blog

First Three Pages?

Are you kidding me?

I have to be interesting within the first three pages?
Wait, you said paragraphs...
That's not better.

I have a tendency to ramble into something good. I often fail at landing there directly.
When authoring a book there is a challenge--be interesting fast.

If you're reading this with the hope of my secret trick to overcome this obstacle you're in luck!

My Solution:
Write whatever comes out; Edit until you're left with something interesting.

Where does that leave me now?
Revising/Editing.