On Confidence

I've been thinking a lot about confidence lately.

 

There seems to be a lot of pressure on that word.
Or maybe on our population to be defined by that word.
I'm not sure how I feel about that, and I'm going to explore it, or try to.
An effort will be made.

Points to consider:
How do you define 'confidence'?
Do you consider yourself confident?
If so, why?
If not, why?
What do you consider to be the defining traits/characteristics of a confident person?





I'd love to hear from readers about experiences with this word, viewpoints, experiments, anything that has to do with the word confidence. Lack of it, gain of it, sustaining it.

 

Let's turn this blog into a discussion for a little bit.
I'm curious about how we see this concept as a group, while I'll be sharing ideas of my own as this series goes on.

Make Them Feel It

 Words have an ability to affect us.

How does that happen?

Hitting on our senses in ways we don't expect. It draws the reader in.

Using the senses in writing.

without all the nastly 'ly' words.

 

Visceral is something I hear bandied about a lot in writing helps. What does it mean to provide the reader a visceral experience?

Our goal, as writers, is to force the reader to feel things in ways they can't defend against.

These are in no particular order.

Smell:

"He motions me inside, where I’m assaulted by the fumes of wood polish."

 

Touch/Texture:

"I feel thin, not the skinny model kind of thin, the kind of thin that’s like a string of chewing gum, about to snap."
 

Sound: 

"I don’t have to yell.  Whispering in this crowd offers a validity that can stand up to pedigree."

 

Taste:

"I’ve developed a taste for trouble. Like hot sauce, I’ve built a tolerance that I not only crave, but need to intensify."

 

See/Sight:

"We’ve lived on Rockwood Lane for sixteen years without any suggestion of ‘moving up’ or ‘moving out’. Then Mom bought red exterior paint and murdered our front door."

 

 

What I love about writing/reading is wording phrasing something in a way that makes me feel like a tourist in written world, experiencing things old and new in foreign ways,

thinking differently,

sensing things strangely.

 

Isn't that what it's all about?

Personal Authorly Annoyance Policy.

I often see the quote "Don't annoy authors, or they'll put you in a book and kill you."

 

It's pretty cool. I like it, but...

 

It doesn't quote fit my personality.

 

 

so I took it as a challenge to come up with an annoyance policy of my own.

I’ve decided my personal-authorly-annoyance policy is:

“Annoy me, and I’ll put you in a book and try my best to figure out the good qualities I’ve obviously overlooked, (because that’s the only possible reason I could have gotten annoyed) on a journey that might end poorly for anyone and everyone.”…

...Sort of hard to fit on a mug.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Body Image: Let's Change It

I'm an adult.

I think things like, "How do I look?"

I look in the mirror and cringe on a regular basis. It doesn't strike me as an abnormal reaction. I don't often bother to verbalize my thoughts about it...

And yet today when I waiting for my six year old daughter to change into her swim suit I heard her say, "the top of my legs are so fat and ugly."

My first reaction was anger. "What?"
Then reason, "We don't talk like that about ourselves."

She looked at me stunned. I'm not sure what she thought my reaction would be, but I definitely did something she wasn't expecting.

Good! I thought. Now I have her attention. I had to figure out what to do with it, and fast.
I know my girl and there is only a limited window of use of sustained attention.

"In our family we only use the words healthy or unhealthy. Are you healthy?"
"I guess..."
"Good. I think so too. When we get home we can make a fun poster to highlight all the ways we choose to be healthy." (She is a sucker for posters--seriously. She's constantly begging to make charts and posters. It's cute).

This also gave me time to gather my thoughts and develop a plan for the new body image regime I had just instilled for my entire household.

Here's what I came up with. Body image should not be solely defined by our visible characteristics. Thank goodness I told my girl we were using healthy and unhealthy! I could use more than just physical appearance criteria! Phew, dodged a bullet on that quick reaction.

It's not perfect--and didn't cut and paste nice and dandy, but it's a place to start. Also I had columns- it just wouldn't cooperate with the blog thing at my skill/knowledge/tech level)

The Poster:

Approved terms for Szymanski Family Body Image

HEALTHY OR UNHEALTHY

HEALTHY

Adequate sleep

Active (physical activity)

Good hygiene (clean and groomed)

Learning about/working on things/skills

Develop talents

Service minded

Grateful

 

UNHEALTHY

 

Not enough/too much sleep

Unbalanced food choices

Inactive

Poor hygiene
Disinterested in things/skills

Stunted talents/loss of talents

Self-centered/entitled
Selfish


If the majority of your behavior is within the healthy choices you are healthy.

 

If the majority of your behavior is within the unhealthy choices you are unhealthy and must pick one area/behavior to work on. Start with one and build from there.           

 

 

Being healthy isn't easy. It takes a lot of work. Dedication, determination, and discipline are all required to be healthy. Few, if any, of us have all the areas of health listed conquered at any given time. As long as you are majority healthy, you are healthy If you're not- guess what it's not the end of the world!!! You can pick one single area to improve. Make a goal for just that area, maybe two goals if you want to be an overachiever. Bring that area back over to the healthy side and if your still off balance pick one more until you are once again majority healthy.

I for one m constantly cycling.

It's okay. I'm human.

And I do things like make my family group costumes like this (I'm proud of this BTW Aquabats rule)

 

 

Disclaimer:

I like fat. It's not a bad word.

However, using it in a way to speak negatively or oneself or others is not the proper use of the word. Fat can be good and I have a great appreciation for it when in proper context.

Honor fat, use it for good.

Let's rethink how we encourage good choices in our families. Not to mention how we frame body image in everyone. It's not just what you see.

Five Reasos I Love Numbered or Bulleted Blog Posts

 

1.  Convenience.

It makes skimming for relevant information much more convenient. I mean, who has time to read entire paragraphs for the single point of interest? Not me.

2.  Pretty.

My eyes just prefer the look of things ordered.

3.  Plays to my skills.

I don’t want to totally claim and embrace the fact I lean toward lazy, but bulleted items help me grasp one or two main points that I can put energy toward improving without bogging my brain down in the overwhelming information inside each paragraph. Even this paragraph I’m writing at the very moment is getting a little overwhelming for me.

4.  Time saver.

Along the same lines as convenience. I don’t have time to sift through irreleivant information. My kids are hovering at my side, telling me to look at them (balancing shoes on their ears—it’s a little impressive). My phone is dinging that I have some sort of notification, the school just called that one of my kids has an overdue library book, and I have to fill out claim forms, work forms, and time cards. So, yes I’m ever so grateful for the blogger who takes the time to put their posts into a list that allows me to pick and choose where to spend my time while browsing their ideas and suggestions.

5.  Teaches me organized thinking.

I am not the most organized individual. I have piles of papers in every room of the house. Books I’m referencing stacked on all surfaces, and stuff (I don’t even want to figure out what it is) shoved behind, under, and inside every furniture item. Thank goodness that blog post shows me how a non-cluttered idea should be.

…Now to find a bulleted blog post about de-cluttering my home in five easy steps.